Headliner was Jay-Zzzzzzzz

I’VE got 99 Problems and JAY-Z at Glasto is one.

The Jiggaman’s headline slot on Saturday night split the festival
crowd right down the middle.
And I was one of those firmly in the underwhelmed camp.
I saw the man in action two years ago at The Royal Albert Hall and it was one
of the best gigs I’ve ever been to.

But I felt seriously short-changed as I walked away from this performance.

The whole point of the big bill topper is to get your arms around your pals’
shoulders and sing along to the chorus.

So when Jay opened the show by miming to OASIS megahit Wonderwall –
after playing a tape of NOEL GALLAGHER saying he was wrong for Glasto –
I thought we were in for a treat.

It was all downhill after that, though. There was no spine-tingling COLDPLAY
Fix You moment. Or 50,000 people singing Don’t Look Back In
Anger and pointing at the sky.

There wasn’t anything to rival ARCTIC MONKEYS and KASABIAN,
who raised the Pyramid roof last year. And the rumoured cameos that could
have saved the show, from CHRIS MARTIN or Jay’s wife BEYONCE
KNOWLES who was watching from the wings, never happened.

Bizarre lord Noel must have had a chuckle watching the performance.
Watching ... Beyonce Knowles
A pal said: “I think he really enjoyed it. Particularly the way
Jay-Z got the middle class kids down the front to throw their hands in the
air and wave them around like they just didn’t care.”

TV host TIM LOVEJOY, who knows his tunes, agreed with me that it was
poor. Speaking backstage, Tim said: “That was bland.

“You need big recognisable hits you can get involved in and after 99
Problems he didn’t really have anything.

Noel and Liam must be laughing that they were played on the main stage and
weren’t even on the bill.”

In all fairness a lot of people in the crowd loved it. The kids on their gap
year before going off to uni were getting stuck in to the audience
participation. As was my Bizarre Deputy Pete Samson, who was raving about
the gig into the early hours.

Glasto boss MICHAEL EAVIS was happy too, hailing the set as “absolutely
brilliant”. He boasted: “It was incredible to bring
hip-hop from the streets of New York to Glastonbury.

“We’ve a much younger audience this year. Despite all the
doom and gloom, we’re now in a stronger position. Headline acts
will now come to us.”




I have to disagree. It was a brave move by Michael and his daughter Emily to
book Jay-Z, but an experiment they should not repeat.

However I am pleased to say that one brilliant thing did come of his gig.

Kasabian’s SERGE PIZZORNO rang and said: “Watching
that was a call to arms for rock ’n’ roll. Next year we
are going to take Glastonbury.”

Verdict on Jay-Z? Average. But fair play to the rapper – he obviously
reads Britain’s best showbiz column on the net from his US home.
He mentioned this paper twice in his set, even changing the lyrics of his
most famous song to: “I’ve got 99 problems but The Sun
ain’t one.”